Let me set a bit of background for you before I start telling you about today’s really excellent choice. When I start a project I think all the eventualities through and I plan around them, I get it all figured out in my head and I make contingency plans, y’know- just in case.
Then I start my project.
And quickly realise that I haven’t thought it out at all and everything that could go wrong has gone wrong. That’s what happened today when I decided to install an external filter on my fish tank. Simples.
No, not simples. Really fucking awkward actually.
I have my tanks across two TV stands that fit flush against the wall. And the tank in question is in the middle of one of these stands, my original plan was to cut holes in the side of the hood to fit the filter pipes through. This is where it started getting tricky, my mum actually came round to give me a hand and we convinced ourselves that if we tried cutting the hood the plastic would shatter and I would have to buy a new hood.
So, we figured lets pull the TV stand forward and drop the filter behind it. Now there are several issues with this, all of which we discussed and came up with answers to. Problems in normal, answers in italics:
1. 1. Behind the stand I won’t be able to reach the filter to check or change anything.
Pull the drawer out of the TV stand, get on your tummy and just reach forward.
2. 2. The pipes aren’t long enough for the filter to go on the floor.
Prop it up on something for now and get longer pipes later.
3. 3. The pipes are too short to the point that they won’t go through the pre-cut holes on the back of the hood.
Coffee? Coffee sounds good.
This is where I was at the point of giving up but Mum was all “let’s just think it through, there’s got to be some way of doing it”.
So I said “Fine! Let’s just stick it at the side.”
The fish at this point had been in 2 inches of water for about an hour and a half while we arsed about moving the TV stand, because I don’t remove tanks and then move the furniture they’re on, I take a shitload of water out and then break my back shifting the furniture while praying I don’t damage the seals of the tank.
To put the filter at the side of the tank, the tank needed to be moved about five inches nearer to the edge of the stand, otherwise the pipes would be too bent to work. Enter the next problem: I put neoprene under the corners of the tank so there was some cushioning, the neoprene had stuck to the top of the stand.
However, this was cured quite quickly by my getting a pair of scissors, opening them, putting the point of one blade under a corner of the tank and levering them up and down until the neoprene came unstuck, so we could move the tank! Huzzah!
This, leads me to the problem that made us say no to putting the filter on the side in the first place: cutting the holes.
I phone Boyfriend, who tells me I can use his drill to drill lots of holes, which I can then saw through (rather than trying to saw through the solid plastic, which I imagined would be really, really ridiculously hard).
I mark out some holes and start drilling! Five holes in the battery dies so I have to wait thirty minutes for it to charge up. At this point I think I better put some water back in the tank, otherwise my fish are going to turn slightly more amphibian-like.
Once the battery is charged and I’ve drilled the holes I have to then saw through the bits of plastic still there, I do the one hole absolutely fine, then I finish the second hole, which Mum looks at and says
“You know you’ve missed all the holes right? You’ve just sawn straight through the solid bit of plastic next to them.”
Turns out plastic is really easy to saw and sometimes your first idea is your best idea.
Total calories yesterday: 845.
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